Domestic violence affects every member of the family, including the children. Family violence creates a home environment where children live in constant fear. Children who witness family violence are affected in ways similar to children who are physically abused. They are often unable to establish nurturing bonds with either parent. Children are at greater risk for abuse and neglect if they live in a violent home.
Statistics show that over 3 million children witness violence in their home each year. Those who see and hear violence in the home suffer physically and emotionally. “Families under stress produce children under stress. If a spouse is being abused and there are children in the home, the children are affected by the abuse.” (Ackerman & Pickering)
Dynamics of domestic violence are unhealthy for children:
- Control of family by one dominant member
- Abuse of a parent
- Isolation
- Protecting the “family secret”
Children react to their environment in different ways, and reactions can vary depending on the child’s gender and age.
Children exposed to family violence are more likely to develop social, emotional, psychological and/or behavioral problems than those who o are not. Recent research indicates that children who witness domestic violence show more anxiety, low self-esteem, depression, anger and temperament problems, than children who do not witness violence in the home. The trauma they experience can show up in emotional, behavioral, social and physical disturbances that effect their development and can continue into adulthood.
Some potential effects:
- EMOTIONAL
grief for family and personal losses
shame, guilt, and self-blame
confusion about conflicting feelings toward parents
fear of abandonment, or expressing emotions, the unknown or personal injury
anger
depression and feelings of helplessness and powerlessness
embarrassment - BEHAVIORAL
acting out or withdrawing
aggressive or passive
refusing to go to school
caretaking; acting as a parent substitute
lying to avoid confrontation
rigid defenses
excessive attention seeking
bedwetting and nightmares
out of control behavior
reduced intellectual competency
manipulation, dependency, mood swings - SOCIAL
isolation from friends and relative
stormy relationships
difficulty in trusting, especially adults
poor anger management and problem solving skills
excessive social involvement to avoid home
passivity with peers or bullying
engaged in exploitative relationships as perpetrator or victim - PHYSICAL
somatic complaints, headaches and stomachaches
nervous, anxious, short attention span
tired and lethargic
frequently ill
poor personal hygiene
regression in development
high risk play
self-abuse
